Hermione's Fab and Interesting Diary
by i-love-animals
Summary: Hermione's loopy aunt thinks she needs to heal her inner self and gets her a diary. Surprisingly, she uses it. A collection of her (v witty) thoughts on life, friends, and a v. hot redhead...
1. Moi? Emotionally Inarticulate?

Author's note: hi everyone! I'm back! And with a new story too. This is pretty different, it's a Hermione POV story, and it's set in her last years at Hogwarts. I know she'll seem OOC, but I realise that's the way I'm writing and I don't think it's too unrealistic that Hermione has a slightly rebellious and sarcastic side. Please be nice with your comments! Reviews are very welcome. Constructive criticism appreciated! I know that because it's the first chapter, it isn't that great but it'll get better once I get more into the story. Thanks for you time, and enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: nothing is mine. All I own is the plot, all characters, settings etc are property of JK. D'you reckon I could buy them off her for $1?

Chapter 1

9.43 am – at the train station.

Well hello darling diary, and welcome to my life. Right now, I'm leaning against a wall, trying to hold onto both my trunk and Crookshanks, as well as casually and inconspicuously writing. Before we start, you should probably know that I am (according to a few stupid people) absolutely incapable of articulating any emotion, so that's why I was given you, to help "release my inner child". (What the hell? I know. My mother's crazy sister just turned to natural healing and thinks I have serious issues. Whatever.)

Anyway, I'm at Platform 9 ¾ and the Hogwarts Express train is due to leave soon - I'm waiting for Ron and Harry (my two best friends) to turn up. Jeez, I have no idea what's taking them so long! How can boys be so slow and incompetent at everyth

Later – on the train

So sorry for leaving you hanging like that (like my life is that interesting and you were waiting for an update). But Ron and Harry just turned up and I had to go. Oh. My. God. Ron is so tall! And he looks so different! I don't know what it is. Maybe it's all the quidditch he and Harry insist on wasting their time playing. I mean, I respect their choice of activity but if they spent a fraction of the time and effort they put into quidditch on their studies, they wouldn't be running to me every time Snape sets them an essay. But that'll probably never happen.

Anyway, we're all just sitting in a carriage (that's me, obviously, Harry, Ron, Ginny, Neville and oh look, Luna just walked in. Oh my god! She just sat down next to Neville. OH MY GOD! They're holding hands! There is something going on, I swear. Detective Hermione will get to the bottom of this one, you can bet on that). Not much to speak of is happening. Ginny is so lucky! She got taller too. In fact, just about everyone got taller except me! It sucks, I hate being a midget. Plus she has a figure to speak of. Unlike moi. As for Harry, he looks exactly the same (except taller, obviously). He looks a lot more relaxed. He hasn't had any spaz attacks lately. I mean, with the defeat of Mouldy Voldy last year, of course he'd have calmed down.

Oh fabbity fab. Guess who just walked in now. Yeppidy doo dah, it's Malfoy! And his stupid cronies too! This should be fun!

Later – still on the bloody train (hey yeah, I said 'bloody'. Woohoo. Everyone thinks that I'm such a goody-two shoes and I never swear and all I care about is schoolwork. BAH. So not true. I just happen to care a lot of my public image. I mean, how can I be expected to have a decent chance for Head Girl if I don't work for it?)

Ok, update on the Malfoy Front: merely the usual, nothing out of the ordinary. He came in, sneered, made a few derogatory comments (v. original – not), Ron got mad, (actually I think I saw steam coming out his ears), Harry held him back, blah bla. It's getting pretty boring actually. I don't why Ron gets so mad. You should have seen him when Malfoy called me mudblood again. He was livid! I can't think why he got so angry. He was more angry at that than when Malfoy made smart smart-alec comment about his money. Damn, that's going to bug me. why on earth did he care so much?

Anyway, not important. What is important is that this year, once again, I have to share my room with the twittering gigglers – aka Lav and Pav. (they don't know I call them that – shh . . .) so anyway, they will be once again twittering and giggling and generally being annoying over everything that has a Y chromosome and has a pulse. Fun for me! I swear, you have no idea how hard it is to sleep in a room with them. Last year, I awoke to this:

"ohmygod, you have to do that thing with your hair next Hogsmeade visit. I swear Dean will drool over it!"

"ohmygod, you are so totally kidding. He does not like me."

"ohmygod, that is so dumb! Of course he does! Every time he looks at you it's so obvious."

"ohmygod, that may be so, but what about you and Seamus! Is there something you're not telling me about that?"

"ohmygod, I wish! But don't worry, if he asks me out then you will so totally be the first to know."

giggle twitter x like a million!

See what I mean? See what I have to put up with? It is not fair. At least I have Ginny. She is like my only female friend, and the only girl I can talk to without feeling sick to my stomach. Why do other girls put on such a show, so guys will like them? If a guy liked me because I looked pretty (and how much of a chance is there of that happening?) then I wouldn't want to date him anyway.

Got to go. I think Ron and Harry are trying to talk to me. But teenage boys are so incoherent. And to think, my aunt thinks me emotionally inarticulate? Bah!

Much, much later – still on the damn train.

Ugh, I'm so bored! Are we there yet?

A minute later – still on the train

No, we are not.

Bored.

Very bored.

Very bored.

I know, let's play a game! I invented it myself. It's called "Try And Remember The Most Interesting Fact You Ever Read". You and the other players take it in turns to recite facts you read and committed to memory because they were interesting. You have to try and out-fact the other players. There's a panel of judges and they decide, so it's all fairly objective. I think it's great.

I just suggested my game to the rest of the train carriage. Their reactions:

Harry: (laugh). No thanks.

Ginny: um, I think I'll pass.

Luna: sorry, what? (very vague, that girl)

Neville: no thank you Hermione . . . um, my gran took away all my books over the holidays so I'd be at a disadvantage to the rest of you (see, at least Neville tried to be nice, terrible liar though he is)

Ron: HA! Hermione, only you would think of a game that ridiculous.

At that point, I got so annoyed I got up and walked out.

Why did that hurt me so much? I don't care what Ron thinks, stupid great prat. Idiot. He is such a moron, I mean, just because you're hot doesn't give you the right to-

Oh

My

God

I did not just write that

Oh

My

God

I did.

Bad, terrible Hermione! Why! Why did you write that? You do not mean it! You're just upset. Oh bugger – I locked myself in the loo so nobody would disturb me in my sob-fest, and someone chooses now to want to empty their bladder? Well they can get lost right now, for all I care. Oh crap, it's Ron.

Later – I feel so weird . . .

That was so strange. It was the strangest thing I have ever felt, and this is coming from a girl whose parents are dentists.

Shall I tell you what happened? I think I shall.

Ok, so Ron was banging on the door, and was all, "Hermione, I know you're in there. Please open the door."

And I yelled, "No."

And then he said, very politely, "Please?"

And then I opened the door. I think I was too shocked to show any submission.

So then he says, and he was really nervous because his ears were red, "Look Hermione, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." My god, he looks so much older than he did. He is fit! (Bad, bad Hermione – stop it!)

He continued, "Anyway, I came to apologise for what I said, and I hope you aren't too mad at me." and then do you know what he did?

He gave me a hug! It was so weird. It was just a quick, light hug, but I could tell he really was sorry. Well, he quickly pulled away and was all blushing, and then he really quickly walked off. Then I went after him and said I was sorry too for overreacting, and then it was all fine. How good is that?

Oh, finally we're at Hogwarts! I have to go to the Sorting and the feast now. I'll let you know how everything is when I get back to my dorm.

A/N: hope you liked it! Constructive criticism is very much appreciated, I am looking for advice on getting them back into character (I know it wasn't quite right in this chapter but I am working on getting back into it). Thanks again!


	2. He Who Snickers Is Lost

A/N: woah! Thanks for all the lovely reviews guys! Just by the way, I know that basically everyone was out of character (by a lot!) but I really felt I just needed to write something to get rid of my writer's block. I hope that it's better this chapter, and thanks for all the constructive criticism! It's much appreciated 

Chapter 2

_In the Great Hall – not sure what time it is exactly, but we're just about to have the feast and Dumbledore's talking_

My golly gosh, the first years just keep getting smaller and smaller every year! We got a few likely looking young Gryffindors, but most of them looking terrified. But we've all been there, and I feel it my duty as prefect to help them out. Oh, I forgot to tell you! Professor McGonagall called me before the Sorting started and she said that she's talked to Dumbledore and some of the other teachers, and I get to take a whole lot of extra credit stuff this year! I still do all the normal subjects with everyone else but I get extra work for each subject too. I can continue it next year and the marks that I get from that go straight to my NEWTs so I have a better chance at getting into the career I want. I'm so excited!

I told Ron and Harry and they said they were really happy for me but I think they rolled their eyes when I turned around. Hmph! I actually don't care this time, and they'll regret it when I don't check their charms homework. Ron's pretty crap at charms. Tehehe. Right now I'm writing this under the table and I'm feeling rather content if you must know the truth. I mean I'm back at Hogwarts with everyone, and something about the promise of a new year and new books just gets me going, it's rather thrilling you know? Lordy lord, I better not let anyone read that, or they'll think me an even big nerd than they do already.

Ginny is so lucky. Her hair is so long! She was growing it out over the summer, and what's more is that it's straight (well, wavy actually) and so smooth! I don't know what she does. My hair is still a massive bush of frizz. Seriously, I think it might be possessed. Not fair! I mean, I don't really care about my looks that much because I think all that primping is seriously superficial and merely an act to attract guys, but you know? It was kind of fun at the Yule Ball when people were looking at me and for once not snickering. But I might save that just for special occasions. Ooh, Dumbledore's saying something rather interesting now . . . oh wait, it was just the usual out of bounds thing . . . hang on a sec, did he just say something about a ball? Wow, he did! He said that after the success of the first Yule Ball he's decided to hold another one! Oh my goodness. This is not good. This is so not good. It's not good because nobody will ask me, and besides everyone will get all obsessed over it and their twittering and mooning will be very distracting for when I'm trying to study!

Ginny's looking pleased. Well, why shouldn't she look pleased? Every guy with a pulse will be lining up to ask her. Haha, but Ron won't like that! That's one of things I like best about Ron, he's so caring and protective . . . come on Hermione. Don't even go there.

Speaking of Ron, he's actually being quite uncouth at the moment. See, the food has just materialised and now he's shoving it down his face like there's no tomorrow. Ew! Could this get any grosser?

Right now I'm writing this under the table, leaning on my lap so it's kind of hard eat and write at the same time. I'm going to stop write here because Nosy Ginny is peering over my shoulder, trying to read what I wrote.

_Really late – in my warm, comfy, soft bed . . ._

Mmm. This is really nice. I'm just sitting propped up in my bed and it's all cozy in here. Lav and Pav are flipping around generally being slightly irritating but also mildly amusing. I think it'd be an interesting experiment to be them for a day. I mean, they annoy me but to tell the truth they're really not that bad.

Ah, I'm so tired, my eyelids are drooping. I think I'm going to turn the light off now and get some beauty sleep (god knows I need it)

_September 2nd – breakfast, the great hall_

They just handed out our new timetables. Ron and Harry are still taking Divination. At first I was mildly annoyed that they hadn't taken my advice and dropped it, but now I think it's all their own fault if they get absolutely fed up with it. Well, they wont be getting my help with their stupid homework, that's for sure! And Lav and Pav aren't letting them copy either . . . Tehehe. Though they do let Dean and Seamus copy, and then Seamus and Dean take pity on Ron and Harry and let them copy theirs anyway, so it's all just a big unethical cycle of copying.

Anyway, first up today we have transfiguration, then charms, then double potions (and yes, we are still with the grotty little Slytherins), then Herbology and care of magical creatures. So it's quite a good day, regardless of potions – and even that should be very interesting, the Ravenclaw prefect in the year ahead of us told me we start to move into some quite difficult stuff. I can't wait!

_Lunch time – the library_

Finally, some peace and quiet! I am so glad to get away from the rest of that screaming rabble. But first let me fill you in on how everything went when class started. Ok, so in transfiguration, Professor McGonagall told us about what we'd be doing this year:

"Welcome back everyone, I trust you have all had an excellent holiday and that you are all recuperated and ready for a year of new magic. This year, as your NEWTs are not as far off as most of you assume, we will be focusing on particular spells that you will be examined on. I will warn you now that what you will be covering is far more challenging than anything you have been taught in previous years," at this, Ron, who was sitting next to me, looked a bit worried.

Anyway, the lesson was exceedingly interesting but I was disappointed that, while I was the only one who could get my badger to change from grey to purple, my purple was more lilac than lavender.

I was contemplating asking Professor McGonagall if she had any recommendations for books I could read to counteract that tendency, but before I got a chance to ask her she handed me a bulging parchment envelope – it was my extra credit stuff for transfiguration, about a week's worth of material I think. I just had a chance to open it and I'm so glad the teachers let me do it – the things she's getting me to do are wonderfully fascinating! There's all these spells, what they do and how to do them right.

I've also got a list of recommended reading for background knowledge, to build my understanding. So that's why I'm in the library now, looking up the books. I've also got a list for charms and potions, which I just had, and the enveloped for them are pretty good as well. For charms it's basically the same deal – spells I'm going to learn, how to perform them, and background reading. For potions, I'm actually doing more theory work than actual brewing of potions, but that's fine with me. I think that for the practical aspects of it, I'd need to have private lessons with Snape and while I have been learning well with him as my teacher in class, any more time with him and I'd go loco, if you know what I mean.

I got a bit peeved off with Ron again today. I was excited and was telling Harry and him about my extra work, and he (Ron) snickered at me! Not just a little chuckle, mind you, but a full on sniggering snicker! I turned around really fast and accidentally whipped Harry in the face with the brown bristles growing out of my scalp.

After apologising to Harry, I said to Ron really stiffly, "I wonder, what would happen if I didn't help you at all with my notes this year?"

He replied, "Well, I'd fail everything and my mum would be terribly disappointed in me, and would you want that hanging over your head for ever? Besides, you're just smarter and more organised than me, can I help that? To tell the truth, I don't think it particularly moral to gloat about it."

At this, I snorted and walked ahead, but I must admit I did feel slightly gratified.

A/N: how was it? I hope it was better and more in character! Personally, I think Hermione is far less OOC then she was last chapter, but that's just my opinion . . . and I would really love to hear yours! Thanks again to all the wonderful people who took time out of their day to write a comment – whether it was helpful or not, I still appreciate that you made an effort. However – **Augurey Song: **like I said, I am thankful you took the time to review but I thought that maybe you could have told me how to improve not just that Hermione was out of character. Perhaps you could have given examples of where I went wrong and how could I correct it, but thank you anyway again for your time.

Otherwise, cake for all these people!

Dragonstargirl: thanks so much for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Mione-Rosenburg16: thank you, I'm glad you like it. I did try very hard to keep them in character!

Lingyeung-02: hehe, I love ditzy dorm girls! They're so funny to write! Thank you as well for reviewing!

Suzie: thanks very much for the lovely compliment, I am very glad you're liking it! Was this a quick update?  I'll try and keep the chapters coming fast!

bookwormJ: thanks, I'm glad you liked it! Was this update quick enough? 

SilentRaven987: thanks for the feedback, you're so right! I just watched an American TV show so it kind of rubbed off on me but I re-read some of Hermione's dialogues from the books and I do hope it corrected it! And I hope she's speaking more like herself now too.

Colin: thanks for reviewing. You're right, and I realise she was OOC, but I needed to just post something, so I could get the flow of writing from her point of view. I hope I got her more this chapter?

FaeriePrincess: thank you very much! I know, go Ron/Hermione! Who do those Harry/Hermione shippers think they're kidding? It's Ron/Hermione all the way baby!

Marissa: thanks. I was just reading the princess diaries books before I started typing this, so it's little wonder the tone rubbed off! I know the Hermione definitely wasn't right last chapter but I would love your feedback on how I wrote her this chapter.

Justanormalgirl357: thanks so much! I'm really glad you liked it. I'm glad you laughed  I hope this chapter induced a similar reaction!

TicTacTurtle: thanks for your feedback.

Norbert-theduck: thanks for reviewing! I'm not sure of the books you're thinking of, it isn't princess diaries is it? Or maybe confessions of a Georgia Nicholson? Anyway thanks again!

Cole: hehe, thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it.

Nikki23: I totally agree with you – Hermione is definitely taking her time with this relationship. Serious hinting probably won't start to emerge until much later. Thanks for your review!

Sous La Lune: thanks so much! Seriously, you don't know how cool it is to be on someone's alert list, or maybe you do? Oh well, anyway, thank you for that, it really made me smile!

x-moon-beam-x: thank you. I know that it isn't what a lot of people expect, and I know a lot of people will think it rubbish but I think Hermione does have a different side to her and I was trying to explore that. Thanks again!

georgexXxalicia: thanks heaps!

Irish Lady Knight: yay! I'm so glad you agree with me that Hermione does have a sarcastic and biting side! I know there's more to her than what we see. And I'm glad you liked the R/H bit! I was worried I was moving too fast with her and Ron, I wanted it to be nice and slow. What do you think? Thank you for your review!

Iluvron: wow, thanks loads! That's really nice of you to say and I'm glad you like it!

StEpPiNg StOnEs: thank you! I'm glad it was funny. I tried to make Hermione more know-it-all-ish in this chapter but I hope it wasn't overkill!

Emuerz: thanks

Reviewer: thank you so, so, so much! I'm really glad you enjoyed it so much! I'm writing the chapters fairly fast now, so I will hopefully update fairly frequently! Thank you again, it was a lovely review!

Fake-truth86: thanks. Were they more in character this time?

Thanks again everyone! Have a lovely day.


	3. The Dramas of Ginny

CHAPTER 3

_Saturday, 6th September – the common room, 5:31pm_

Another day, another load of work. All completed of course. I unlike some persons who shall remain nameless (cough, cough) actually took advantage of the afternoon and completed all my schoolwork. I also managed to get through half my transfiguration extra work. As it turns out, each envelope is supposed to last for a month – not a week. A month! I don't know how they expect me to space that out, I managed to do half of it in three days. Speaking of which, apologies for not writing but it's been so hard to get a decent ten minutes on my own. What with school work and Lav and Pav and Ginny's boy troubles (more on that later), it's a wonder I've had time to breathe. Anyway, in regards to the extra credit stuff I'll have to be much more careful and pace myself over the next few weeks.

Well, I've rather a lot to say about Ginny – the fiery redhead actually came to me for advice this morning and usually it's the other way around. Anyway she collapsed next to me in an armchair and moaned, "Hermione! I need help!"

Of course, I kindly put all of my own inner struggles aside and said compassionately, "Ginny, whatever is the matter? It would be my greatest pleasure to help you sort out your angsty adolescent dramas." Well, no actually. What I really said was, "Yes, what?" a bit snappishly because I was up to a really good part of the book I was reading – I was revising the history of transforming charms and I was up to the bit where Frederic the Fetching starts to invent ways of turning his hamsters into hippopotami. Anyway, she got huffy and said, "Well fine, Miss Thing, I won't pour my heart out to you."

I immediately felt bad and apologised. She smiled and said, "No worries. What I was going to say was that I really, really, really need your help."

"Well, what about? If it's about schoolwork then I can draw you up a timetable-"

"No, it's not about school," she cut me off hurriedly. "It's about . . . well, it's actually to do with . . . um . . . Harry, actually." She blushed profusely.

Now I was very interested indeed.

I probed a little bit, "Ok. What seems to be the matter? You two aren't fighting, are you? You seem to be getting along perfectly amicably-"

Again, she cut me off. Ordinarily I would have been annoyed but this time I wasn't. "No, you see that's just it! We are getting along amicably. Like, friends. Just as friends." She sighed heavily. I could hardly keep myself from shrieking. I knew it! I knew she still liked him! And I had a feeling that he liked her too.

I said, "So I take your feelings for Harry have continued beyond the 'just friends' stage?"

"Yes!" she moaned. "And it's awful, absolutely awful! I like him so much but I know that he'll never like me because I'm younger than he is, and why would he want me? Harry likes girls who are smart and proper and poised, and I'm – not."

To be honest, I could vouch for that. Ginny was hot headed, impulsive, emotional and not a person you wanted to cross, but she had a heart of gold and was insanely loyal to her friends. She was also smart and bitingly funny, and in a moment of need, the exact person you'd hope to have on your side. In short, an ideal best friend – or girlfriend.

So anyway, I sat her down and said gently, "Look, Ginny. Whilst you are by no means prim or proper, you are still a wonderful, charming character and I'm sure that it's not out of the question that Harry might like you like that, one day. Maybe even he does already, who knows?"

As I said this, Ginny's eyes grew wide with elation. She said, "Do you really think so?"

I replied, "I don't see any reason to believe otherwise. If you want I can have a talk with him and see if there are any other girls he might like."

Ginny nearly fell off her seat. "Are you nuts? He'd guess it in a second! No, I absolutely forbid you to do anything of the sort."

"But I'd be subtle. I am after all the queen of subtle."

She snorted. I was mildly irritated.

"I still don't think it's a good idea. No, if you say a single word about this to ANYONE, least of all Harry, I'll . . ." suddenly a mad glint came into her eye, "I'll tell Ron that you like him."

This time, I actually did fall off my seat, much to the amusement of a few passing first-years. Ginny shot them a glare and helped me up. I spluttered, "WHAT! What are you talking about?"

She rolled her eyes dismissively. "You know. You. My brother. Hearts a-fluttering?"

UM, NO!

"Ginny, no! I don't like him, at least not like that!"

"Fine. I can see you need to work this out for yourself. I'll leave you to it and when you have decided that you do, let me know, ok?"

Right. Whatever.

Ugh, Ron the Snoopy One has just leaned over my shoulder and is trying to read what I'm writing – again. I asked him very politely to please not do that as I am trying to write (well I said something a little more to-the-point actually) and he got all huffy and was like, "You're not writing another letter to Vicky are you?"

At which point I actually got really annoyed – for real. Since when did he care about my personal life? (Well all the time, when Viktor was involved). But aside from that? Hmm? How about never! And why should he care anyway? It doesn't affect him!

He's leaning over me now, trying to talk to Harry who's making moony eyes at Ginny. Am I the only one who's picking up on this? Sometimes I think I live in a swamp – the only living organism with more than half a brain cell. Now, now Hermione, my brain is reprimanding me. We must not get uppity. It is not a becoming quality at all.

Anyway, Ron is still leaning over me – oh my gosh, what was that? It felt just like the bottom of my stomach just dropped out. I haven't got that feeling since I was a tiny little girl in third form, at my primary school, and I was nine or something. I had a massive thing for this boy called James Lockington, but our (not) relationship quickly ended after I saw him canoodling with Gwendolyn Hertforty outside the loos, when I went to clean myself up after some know-nothing incompetent twit spilt green paint on my blouse in arts and crafts. But anyway.

So, after that story, that point of it was to show that the feeling I just felt was possibly related to a romantic "interest" per say. But . . . Ron? Never! He's nice and all, but you know, he's Ron! Just because he's currently leaning over me, in close proximity to me, and I can smell his nice clean boy smell . . . oh dearie me. This really isn't good. Not at all. My heart and my stomach did that annoying twisty jumpy thing again. Oh, I know what it is! I'm just feeling a bit funny because of what Ginny was just going on about. Silly little flipperty gibbet that she is.

So . . . of course it's nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Isn't it!

Author's note: hi everyone! I'm sorry! ducks to avoid barrage of pointy things thrown at my head I know I've been awful . . . and slow. I have excuses but you probably don't care. And I'm also sorry for posting the same chapter twice! Silly accident of mine. Anyway, I'm back now and I will not ever be as slow updating again! Thanks to all my lovely reviewers, you guys are stellar and I cannot tell you how warm and fuzzy it makes me feel when I read all your nice things! If anyone has any stories of their own then I will happily read them and return the "Good Review" favour! Just let me know! Thanks again! Peace and love


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